Love Dare

Steve and I have been reading this great book called, "Love Dare" recommended by our friends Heather and Brodie. It's a book that takes 40 days (or in our case a bit longer) to complete. Each night you read a short passage about an element of love and/or marriage and then there is a dare for the next day. The dare might be to not say anything negative to your spouse the next day or to call them out of the blue and ask if there is anything that you can do to help them out. When day is done (or when the dare is done which sometimes takes more than a day for us) there are some questions to help you reflect on what the dare was, how it made you feel, etc. I don't know that Steve writes anything down but I'm obviously a journaler so I do! :)

It's amazing what a little love and attention can do for a relationship. It's so easy to forget about "us" when the kids take most of our time and energy. The BIG things we used to enjoy doing together and for each other aren't possible anymore without painstaking effort to rearrange schedules, find babysitters and empty the bank account to pay for a fun night/trip and a babysitter! What this book has done for us is give us an excuse to refocus on each other and through little gestures, remind ourselves and each other why we fell in love. I am so thankful that I have a husband who will do things like this with me. I'm always finding new journeys I think we should take and he jumps on board willingly and whole heartedly.

My last dare was to list all of the things that I love about Steve on one sheet of paper. This paper represented a room in my brain that I visit when I think happily of him. Then I had to write down all the things I don't love about him which also represented a room in my brain which I sometimes visit too frequently. The book stated that as marriages progress people find themselves spending more and more time in the negative room and less and less time in the positive room and that we have to make a conscious effort to change that. It was very easy for me to write about all the things that I love and I found that the number of positives was three times as long as the negative list. A pleasant surprise for me. I didn't doubt that Steve is a wonderful person and that his list of positive characteristics out lasts many but I seem to find lots to get frustrated about or nit pick about. It was a good wake up call that I seem to fall back on the same arguments and I need to just let them go.

Anyway - my dare also asked that I pick one positive thing that I love about Steve and recognize him for it. I wanted to do that here. I wanted to share that love with everyone because he is such a wonderful man. One of the things I love most about Steve is what a kind heart he has. He shares it with me, he shares it with our children and he shares it with everyone he meets. Steve is warm - he wears his heart on the outside of his body and touches the world with it daily. Here are ten things he does that show his kind heart.

1. He constantly hugs and kisses Braden and Olivia
2. He is the first one to say good morning and to remind me to slow down for a kiss/hug goodnight
3. He has a hard time not giving to anyone who comes selling at our door or calls on the phone
4. He loves taking care of the earth: recycling, picking up trash he sees, saving energy, etc.
5. He calls and thinks of people when they are in need - he even sends cards - yes a man that sends cards!
6. He cries when we watch sad movies or we read about sad news
7. He has a hard time walking past a homeless or hungry person without helping him/her
8. He works until the wee hours in the morning to make sure he has done everything he needs to for all the people at work
9. He sends handwritten thank you's all on his own - no reminders from me!
10. He tells me he loves me every day - even on my most difficult days!!!

Steve - I love you honey. You are an amazing man and I am so lucky to be married to you.