To really listen...

I've been thinking a lot lately about whether Braden and Olivia would come to me if they had a problem and feel safe. Not that they hurt their finger or that they couldn't get the TV on the right station but really confide in me about feeling inadequate at school, struggling with a particular friendship, forgetting to study for a test or something that might come up in later years. I'm afraid the answer would be no. I am afraid that they would feel judged or that they had to meet my expectations which I know at times are set too high. It's something I think I still have time to change and I really want to work on.

I get emails about how to be a better mom and family and today's really struck me. It was on listening...

Would my children call me a good listener?

A good listener? Hardly. But maybe a good lecturer. So what does it mean to be a good listener? Well, I'll give you a couple of hints... it's more than the absence of talking... and it doesn't involve multitasking when your child is speaking to you. Listening is the active process of hearing what our child is saying, looking at their eyes and body language for clues, processing it all to determine what's really going on on the inside, and then asking follow-up questions. When we really listen, our child will feel, at least for that moment, like they're the most important person in the world.

It's a good place to start and really made me think. :)