Parenting as a Pair

My iMom group continues to be a source of inspiration, encouragement and friendship for me.  It takes some energy to get us ready to go on a day that we wouldn't have to normally head out of the house so I find myself on those mornings debating wether or not to go.  Each scheduled Tuesday I have consciously made the decision to pack us up, knowing it will be good for us all.  It is good for Olivia to be learning about God in a loving environment, it is good for Norah to have some time without her mommy, and good for me to reflect and be with other moms.

Two weeks ago the speakers were Elizabeth and Mike Murphy.  Their talk focused on parenting as a pair and what a wonderful blessing it is to have two parents present in the home.  I could relate to most all of what they said and found myself shaking my head, smiling and feeling a sense of relief while listening.

A few of the highlights for me were...

1. Even though Steve and I parent differently, those differences aren't bad.  In fact, they may be good for our children.  I need to work on letting Steve parent in his own ways and not feel that they way I do something is the "right" way.

2. They talked about owning certain things with the kids which I really liked.  One parent always did baths.  Another always did bedtime, etc.  We don't do this and I think it'd be really cool if we each had our own special things we did with them.  Something to think about.

3.  Parenting with a purpose was part of the discussion.  Deciding ahead of time what type of person we want to be raising.  Who do we want them to become?  THEN... always parenting with that in mind.  She also talked a bit about planning out with her husband ahead of time what they would do for discipline when the situations arose.  Brilliant! I loved that idea.

4.  There were many other points that I loved but the last that I'll highlight is her thoughts on taking care of yourself.  She said, "You don't have to shave... but that doesn't mean you shouldn't."  "You don't have to shower in the morning and look nice each day... but that doesn't mean you shouldn't."  Ugh - this is so huge for me. I have given myself freely to my children and need to be better about making time for me.  I always said I wouldn't lose myself. I don't think that I fully have but I certainly am having a hard time justifying time for myself to shower and get ready in the morning, exercise, etc.  I feel selfish doing so even when in my head I know that is ridiculous.  I think there is a fine line of balance in this situation of making yourself available for your children and taking time for yourself.  The never ending battle with finding balance!

It was a wonderful morning which left me with much to think about.  I am really thankful that I chose to join this group and that the small group of women I meet with each Tuesday has been so welcoming and warm.